Shelving My Dreams So That My Daughter Could Achieve Hers
When you have a child, your whole perspective on life changes. It’s not about what is best for you anymore; it’s about what is best for them.
In my case, my dream was to achieve in life so that my daughter could have several opportunities. However, when you have a child that has her own dreams and aspirations, you sometimes must decide: Your dream or mine?
Your Dream or Mine?
2017 was the year where I had to decide whether I was going to pursue my dream of gracefully walking across the stage, wearing my cap and gown, as the audience cheer me on whilst I collect my award. Or leave after the second year of my undergraduate course, and hope that I could one day sit in the audience and cheer my daughter on as Young Nala in the West End production of The Lion King. Something that wasn’t guaranteed.
For some reason, the second year of university was completely different to the first. Not because the workload was increased, but because people were showing an interest in my daughter more. Asking me questions like:
Does she have an agent? Is she attending performing arts school? Why isn’t she on TV? Why isn’t she on the stage?
During the year, all these questions kept on coming to the forefront of my mind, but I dismissed them. Being a single mother, whilst studying, was tough. I couldn’t commit to any activities, clubs or sign her up with an agent. However, when one person said that I can’t sit there and let her talent go to waste. Deep down I knew this was true, but I knew that it would be impossible to attend university and allow her to follow her dream at the same time. There was no way I could be in two places at once. It was one or the other. Her dream or mine…
So, I decided to defer or should I say leave. I didn’t have a clue when or if I was going back.
Did I have peace? Yes! I knew it was the right decision to make. Was it an easy decision? No! It was difficult. All that time I spent rushing around London to attend my lectures – for nothing. All those sleepless nights working diligently to submit my assessments – for nothing. All that hard work over the past two years – for nothing. And, to top it off, I had racked up so much debt – so to receive ‘nothing’ at the end was disheartening.
Not only that, friends, lecturers, and some family members were telling me to reconsider. Think about it for a while. It’s not a wise decision. You could get a first. I understood all their concerns, and I knew that this was a risk, but my daughter was missing out on so many opportunities, and I couldn’t focus on university because of this. So, I shelved my dream in pursuit of hers.
Putting my life on hold
I had put my life on hold…now, what? As I had more time on my hands, when a friend suggested letting my daughter audition for Annie Jr, I jumped at the chance. She got the role of one of the main orphans. This production increased her zeal to perform on stage and prepared her to pursue her dream of being in the Lion King.
However, although she wanted to be in the show, she had never seen it. All we saw were clips on YouTube. So, on December 1ST 2018, I put on layers of clothing, a woolly hat, thick gloves and braced the cold to queue outside for over 4 hours to get front seat tickets. Luckily, for anyone attending now, all you need to do is click on the link from the comfort of your own home. But that wasn’t the case 3 years ago. To guarantee front seat tickets, I knew that I would have to queue from 5:45 am.
After excitedly watching the show, this motivated her, even more, to want to be part of this amazing production.
A few months later, she performed in Oliver Jr then auditioned for Lion King Cub School and got in. She was one step closer to achieving her dream.
When I walked away from university, I thought that door was closed forever, there was no way I could go back and halt her journey of auditioning for Young Nala. Unbeknownst to me, a teacher friend of mine said because I had completed two years, I could graduate with a diploma instead. So, in 2019, I walked across the stage, in my graduation gown and cap and collected my award as the audience cheered me on. I had unexpectedly achieved my dream, and in March 2020, my daughter achieved hers. Life was on the up!
It’s my time now!
On March 10th, 2020, my daughter had secured her dream role. Unfortunately, on March 23rd, 2020, it was taken away – just like that – due to lockdown. So, instead of preparing her for rehearsals, I was eagerly watching the press conferences, in anticipation, waiting to hear if theatres were going to open anytime soon.
8 months had passed, and the theatres still hadn’t opened their doors, and it looked like it wasn’t happening for now. At this point, I had already stopped watching the press conferences, and with winter looming, I had no hope of the theatres opening to full capacity. And, to top it off, would my daughter keep her part if they did? With all this uncertainty, I thought why not follow my other dream and start a blog.
This dream had laid dormant for a few years. I wasn’t sure of the exact direction I was going on with it, but I thought if I took the steps, it would come together in the end. So, I completed a few short courses, bought a domain name, and started setting up my website. I was on a roll! Then, a few months later, the government set a date for theatres to open to full capacity. I was happy, but as they were closed for so long, there were no guarantees that my daughter would keep her part, and I had established a routine that was working for me.
Not once but twice
Thankfully, my daughter kept her part. I could continue working on my blog whilst she rehearsed and performed – so I thought. Well, that didn’t go according to plan.
Setting up a business, whilst home–educating and travelling back and forth to Central London, was not one of the best decisions I had made. So, I decided to shelve the dream – yet again. I did what I could, but it wasn’t enough to get it off the ground.
It’s my time again
Now, I had successfully helped my daughter live out her dream. She had completed her run and now it was my time again.
I didn’t commit to any clubs, tasks or activities that were going to take me away from launching my blog. I had invested time, energy, and money into helping my daughter achieve her dream, which was worth it! When you have a child with faith, zeal, and tenacity, you will do all you can to help them achieve in life. But…I had also invested time, energy, and money into my dream, and now it was time to see what the future held for me.
Well, as you’re reading this post, you can see that I launched my blog. Shelving my dreams so that my daughter could achieve hers, not only allowed me to witness her awesomeness on the stage before she outgrew the role, but I also got to achieve both of my dreams too. It may have happened later than I expected, but…it’s never too late to blossom!
What dreams have you put on hold so that your child can follow theirs?
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